Wing and Wife - GL1800Riders
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post #1 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:18 AM Thread Starter
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Wing and Wife

I want to hear some comments from those of you that are married to a lady that doesn't enjoy riding. I very much enjoy my time on two wheels, but my wife, not so much. She will go with me, on occasion, when we have a group of three or so with at least one other spouse along. For her, it seems to be more of an opportunity to socialize than ride. I bought my Goldwing with an eye toward being able to ride more and travel on it, especially after I retire. Now, I'm beginning to wonder if that will be possible unless I choose to leave her behind, which is unlikely. I travel quite a bit with my job, so she is not unaccustomed to being home without me. We do still have a 24 year old daughter living at home, so they do things together and with my other daughter, grandson and son-in-law. I suppose I need to make more of an effort to find a group of couples to ride with and make new friends that ride. Maybe that would encourage her to ride more with me.

Please comment as to things you may have done to get your uninterested spouse to ride with you more.

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post #2 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:28 AM
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Not sure of the type of rides you take. Many like to go for a ride just to hit the twisty roads. These do not appeal to the backseat rider quite as much as riding to a destination. Ask her where she wants to go and what she wants to see. Stop often so you both can get off and stretch.
When riding alone a tank to tank leg is very doable for me. With the wife along we stop more often.
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post #3 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:40 AM
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Sorry, can't help much here, it was my wifes' idea to buy the '84 Aspencade and it has been difficult to leave the yard without her from there through a 98 and the 06.!!!

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post #4 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:11 AM
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A few of her excuses why she doesn't or wouldn't ride....
1. Didn't have her own helmet - She would wear an old one of mine that actually fit her pretty well. I said ok, and bought her a new helmet.
Some time goes by after her now having her own helmet but still rarely going for rides....
2. Didn't have her own jacket - Again she didn't like wearing one of mine, so again, I go buy the jacket she picked out.
More time goes by with very few rides....
3. We can't talk - Well, we don't talk much riding in a vehicle why should this be any different, right? This time I left it up to her. I talked to her about Bluetooth headsets, specifically the Sena's, but that I didn't want to spend the money for us only to use it a few times (knowing darn well I wanted one for myself anyway). Guess what I got for Christmas? A dual set of 20S's.
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post #5 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:19 AM
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Wow, can't imagine hitting the road without my wife. We both have 1800's and she enjoys the ride as much if not more than I do. If she encourages you to ride alone then go for it. I guess. If she exhibits resentment after a long day in the saddle, you may to rethink your mode of travel. I don't know. That's a tough one.
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post #6 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:33 AM
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I've had a Wing for about 2 1/2 years now. I've been riding with a buddy for that entire time. My buddy's wife goes on trips with him fairly regularly. My wife is very skittish about riding with me. She is beginning to warm up to it however. I have been taking her on gentle rides around town allowing her to dictate the speed. So far so good. She is going on her 1st trip this spring along with my friend and his wife. My buddy's wife doesn't care for "burning miles" to get to the main destination of a trip, so the plan is for my buddy and I to ride the bikes to Fredericksburg, Texas (hill country) with the girls following in a cage. This will allow them to visit and be comfortable in the car on the way down. Then we will take day trips out of Fredericksburg and hopefully enjoy some pretty Texas wildflowers. We also plan to let them walk around town and shop/browse the quaint little stores in the historic town. I WILL NOT ride aggressively with my wife onboard. If I did that, I don't believe she would ever go again. So, I guess I say all this to point out that this particular trip is all about her. She will dictate the activity and pace. Now, if my buddy and I have a chance to go run one of the Twisted Sisters (337 between Vanderpool and Leakey woohoo) by ourselves one afternoon or morning, GAME ON BABY!! I'm hopeful that my wife will enjoy the trip and want to keep riding. So, maybe trying and find another couple to ride with would be a good idea.?.
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post #7 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:19 AM
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You need to identify positively her likes/dislikes about riding then cure the problem if possible. Sometimes there just isn't a good solution.

When we first married my wife could care less about motorcycles and riding. I finally said, "I'm going to ride again and bought a 1980 CB900 custom. She went along reluctantly. Then she let me know she didn't like sitting there "by herself". I bought a cheap communication setup and the problem was solved. Now we could talk about the scenery, etc., and she was happy. Next up was our new '97 Wing and now the 1800 trike. 95% of my riding includes her and I don't like riding solo much. She wants to go as fast or slow as I desire (most of the time) and loves riding the twisties with our friends in our club. It's a beautiful thing!

Good luck. Hope you find a solution for both of you.

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post #8 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:20 AM
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My wife wanted nothing to do with motorcycles for nearly 20 years, then one day out of the blue surprised me and said "take me for a ride." Short version: we wound up with a Goldwing. We've had our ups and downs with it, mostly ups.

I've learned that what she actually wants from and gets out of a ride can be VERY different from a) what I want/get, and b) what I think she wants/gets. And maybe even different from c) what she thinks she wants/will get. It's rarely fatally mutually exclusive from what I'm looking for or at least happy to compromise on, but it's almost always at least a click of windage off on the why we each liked or disliked it.

All I can say is the more you can help her experiment her way through c) and find a way to mind meld with her to get through a) and b), the better.

I'd begin with revisiting the assumption that another couple in a group ride is the best way to pique her interest. What about a nice ride to a nice destination and activity for just the two of you? Short afternoon, overnight, etc. Some you and her time rather than us and them time? Lots of different ways to skin the cat.

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post #9 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:33 AM
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I dreamed of getting an RV when I retired and moving into it and the wife and I spending our remaining time travelling the USA. Well after years of talking about it, many years of camping vacations and so forth, I finally was told that we were not selling the house and moving into a RV. We have bickered back and forth for years about this during which she learned to ride and we have taken numerous motorcycle tours. Now my health has caught up with me and it seems that riding may be at the end. So no Touring and no RVing!

If you can't find happy solutions to her reasons, you may have to find something you both like to do it together. Given a choice between doing something with my wife or not, I choose to be with her.
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post #10 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:58 AM
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Communication, communication, communication....

Living in the middle of Nebraska, we are 6-8 hours from any pretty scenery. My wife hates being bored on the back. (I love miles! ANY miles!) She loves water, beach, sunshine. (None of which are within 12 hours ride from home).

Our solution was to plan two major trips a year, she chooses the destination( I help by providing some suggestion pictures) and we have three criteria. City/airport access, water, and nearby mountains/twisties. I ride solo(or with a riding buddy or two) to the selected region, wifey flies into the airport, we leisurely ride water, stop at the beaches, overlooks, castles, or tourist villages( which she LOVES) and walk. At some point we find a large mall, shopping village, or tourist atttraction (or if we have family in the region), Mel takes a day do what she does, shops, visits friends or family, drinks coffee, reads a book, stay in a resort with a day spa or something else that suits her fancy. (My job is to make sure she will have a good time on her own for a better part of the day.) this day/days are scheduled with twistie/mountain riding nearby and I go tear up the streets, make sparks, burn tires. We meet back for a nice dinner together with wine and dancing and talk about our days. While I am tearing up the area, I am constantly on the lookout for vistas, sites or shopping villages I know she will enjoy. The next day we go for a scenic ride up through the mountains, or back to the beach, pretty much alternating days when we are together, apart, always with quality time and conversation afterward. We LOVE our times together, and each gives the other, as best they can, the opportunity to do what they love. When we're done, I drop her at the airport and wander back home.

It's what works for us...

It's not what we used to do and we nearly stopped doing what we both love, because we didn't communicate about what we each need, wanted or enjoyed about the two-wheeled traveling we BOTH now LOVE! Planning a Florida and a southern west coast trip in the next couple of months... gotta go do my job, making sure my valentine will have a great time!

Steve and Mel... over 25 great years together, 42 in all
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