Hello Dave, From your description of what you need in a seat, you are the perfect candidate for a Corbin seat. I've been riding over 50 years and have tried cushions, beads, sheepskins and while they help they are not a solution. What you need to try is a Corbin seat. If you can find a friend that has one that will let you ride the bike for a day you'll see what I mean. They are firm so your balls don't get pushed up by the seat, you don't need wider gusseted pants. It seats you back an inch or two, you'll be amazed at the difference. It feels a little hard at first but in 1000 miles it conforms to your butt shape and is the most comfortable seat you'll ever ride on. In fact after it gets fully broken in the seat you are sitting on will never enter your mind at all.